In this blog post, I will compose a present scene with dialogue and symbolism about having a fire outback of my house with friends. I will use Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) as an example of how to compose my scene. I will also use my background as a writer to compose my scene.
I sit on my basement couch excitedly as I wait for my friends to get here for a fire outback of my house for my birthday. All I’m thinking about is getting to be together just hanging out like old times. It’s hard to round up all the guys these days just simply because we are all getting older with more responsibilities and being away at college so only a few are coming but I’m okay with that. They get here one by one, each coming in my back door. “Jim, it’s only eight o’clock, I think we should wait a little longer to have the fire.” Nolan says. “I agree with Nol, hand me my forty.” Kyle says. Kyle took a sip of the 40 oz malt liquor and yells “This tastes like shit!” Then he puts it down. “I know it does Kyle but it’s cheap and gets the job done.” I reply. “So boys what did you do today before coming here?’’ Andrew asks. The rest of us reply simultaneously, “Work.” We drink the rest of what’s in our bottles and head towards the door. We exit the house and walk about thirty feet farther to the fire pit. I start the fire by lighting a duraflame log which went up in flames fairly quick and I put some birch wood on top to keep the flame going. “It’s already nine-thirty!” Andrew yells. “I know it’s crazy how time flies when you’re with your closest friends.” I reply and the fire starts to burn ferociously. “Some friends you guys are.” Nolan says smuggly. The fire dims. The rest of us look at each other and all turn to Nolan. I didn’t know how to respond to his smug remark but Kyle breaks the tension. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “I live thirty minutes away and you guys hardly come up to see me!” Nolan yells with anger as a piece of wood made a popping sound in the very dim fire. “Nolan we’re all on our own wave now and sorry it’s not our first priority to drive up to valley forge every weekend.” He looks at me in an understanding way and the fire starts to flare up again. “I just wish we could go back to when we had our house down the shore.” Nolan says sadly. “I know bro we all do, and that’s why we gotta enjoy this moment here and not waste it away with arguing.” Andrew says in a soothing voice. The fire was raging and the tip of the flame was reaching above our heads. I crack open another forty and Kyle says “Aye! It’s twelve o’five Jim. Happy Birthday!” The rest of the guys wish me happy birthday too and I reply “Thanks guys, glad it was with all of you.” The fires blaze got to its highest point.
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I have recently taken up running/jogging as a way to stay physically fit, clear my mind, and relieve stress. In this blog post of “Composing A Present Scene” I will appeal to all five senses through writing about my running/jogging and the daily things I feel and observe while I do it.
My first steps out of the backdoor and the stuffy dusty inside air exhales out of my lungs and in comes the fresh outside air. My feet then start to step faster back and forth as I ease into a light jog. The rap music playing out of my old Apple headphones is playing on max volume. This isn’t the only thing I hear though. I can hear the wind hitting the inside of my ears as I run against it. I can also feel the wind on my face but it’s hot out so it’s like a blow dryer blowing out hot air on top of me already being hot from exercising. As I pass the old elementary school I used to attend, I start to feel the moisture run down my face and body. I lick my lips because they are as dry as a desert and I get an unpleasant taste of salty sweat. My 18 karat gold chain starts to rub against my neck. This rubbing combined with the sweat starts to irritate my neck and it turns red like a tomato. My ragged shoelace becomes untied and I pause for a moment to retie it. I feel the rough concrete on my knee as I use it as support to tie my shoe. On my route, I see an assortment of stores to acquire a drink to quench my thirst. My mouth is so dry it’s all i can think about. Something worse hits me though, the smell. Among these stores are two pizza shops and one chinese food restaurant. I can smell the fresh aroma of pizza as people put them in their cars to deliver or take home and enjoy for themselves. I don’t get a drink or food though as I pass too quickly by the time I decide to stop I’m already too far. As I enter the final stretch, I find myself staring down Baltimore Pike. I smell gas and exhaust as a result of all of the vehicles. It gets a little harder to breathe at this point. I compare it to standing in a room of people smoking cigarettes. I slow my pace down as I run down the hill so I don’t go to fast and fall. It’s bittersweet going down that hill because all the fast food restaurants are lit in the dark night and it’s beautiful and vibrant, but again I get that aroma of food which tempts me. I then realize I’m almost home where a free and healthier option is available. I get into my alley where the concrete is cracked and broken. I stay on the sides where they are decently safer to prevent myself from breaking an ankle. I pass all the parked cars that seem almost like they are sleeping, like some people at this point in the night. The decks on the back of the homes are like checkpoints, every time I pass one, I’m closer to my destination, home. I finally arrive at that destination with the sweat dripping, music still blaring, and thirsty as ever ready to replenish and shower then sleep till the adventures of the next day. My mother Monica discovered I was struggling in school with my writing. So, she invited her friends from college years ago over for a barbeque. I came down from my room with an empty stomach to find three strangers I had never met before. As soon as she saw me, my mother said “Jim, I want you to meet some very talented writers who happen to be my friends. This is Don Murray, Maria Popova, and Anne Lamott.” They greeted me and I did the same. Following the greeting we hopped into the meal. After cooling down my mouth with an ice cold water due to the hot wings, I asked curiously “so what brings you fine people to a Gibbons barbeque?” Don replied “Well, you Jim. Your mother contacted us saying you need some help with your writing. So we’re here to explain to you The Writing Process.” I said “I feel like if I knew the steps to The Writing Process then i could succeed better. I’m the type of person who can follow steps or a process.” Don said quickly “Give me your full attention for a sec.” He started with “Prewriting is everything that takes place before the first draft. Prewriting usually takes about 85 percent of the writer’s time. It includes the awareness of his world from which his subject is born. In prewriting, the writer focuses on that subject, spots an audience, chooses a form which may carry his subject to his audience. Pre- writing may include research and daydreaming, note-making and outlining, title-writing and lead-writing.”[1] He took a gulp out of his blue moon and followed with “Writing is the act of producing a first draft. It is the fastest part of the process, and the most frightening, for it is a commitment. When you complete a draft you know how much, and how little, you know. And the writing of this first draft—rough, searching, unfinished—may take as little as one percent of the writer’s time.”[2] He said “I’ll wrap it up here. Rewriting is reconsideration of subject, form, and audience. It is researching, rethinking, redesigning, rewriting—and finally, line- by-line editing, the demanding, satisfying process of making each word right. It may take many times the hours required for a first draft, perhaps the remaining 14 percent of the time the writer spends on the project.”[3] “Ok thanks Don I see the steps now,” I said.“But, I have trouble with focusing on my writing, it’s just something i can’t give my full attention to.” Maria said “I got this one so listen up kid.” “I need an hour alone before dinner, with a drink, to go over what I’ve done that day,”[4] She said “but then again I always need a drink! Maria said “I never listen to music when I’m working. I haven’t that kind of attentiveness, and I wouldn’t like it at all.”[5] “I don’t know if I can do that Maria, I am very passionate about my music.” She said cockily “Well look where you are now!” I shrugged while saying “I guess you’re right.” “I had a ritual once of lighting a candle and writing by its light and blowing it out when I was done for the night … also kneeling and praying before starting.”[6] Maria laughingly said “Till I knocked the candle over and almost burned my house down.” “Thanks Maria. Now I have the steps and i know how to focus, but what if i start to panic because i’m out of ideas?” Anne yelled “Finally, my turn.” “First I try to breathe, because I’m either sitting there panting like a lapdog or I’m unintentionally making slow asthmatic death rattles,”[7] Anne exclaimed. She then explains her next step by saying “All I’m going to do right now, for example, is write that one paragraph that sets the story.”[8] “After I write that one paragraph, I get in a groove and finish the piece,” she said. “Now, practically even better news than that of short assignments is the idea of shitty first drafts. All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.”[9] “Ok, I think i got it. Basically I write, prewrite, and rewrite. Then i focus on writing my piece by doing different methods. Lastly, (if necessary) I take it slow if I’m dry for ideas by breathing and do a first paragraph then it all should flow from there?” Altogether they say “Precisely!” “Great I think I got it!” [1]Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) [2]Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) [3]Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) [4]Quote by Joan Didion excerpted from The Daily Writing Routines of Great Writers (Maria Popova) [5]Quote by E.B. White excerpted from The Daily Writing Routines of Great Writers (Maria Popova) [6]Quote by Jack Kerouac excerpted from The Daily Writing Routines of Great Writers (Maria Popova) [7]Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamott) [8]Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamott) [9]Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamott) __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My idea of perfect happiness is being able to wake up and be comfortable with who you are and the decisions you make. __2.__What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear is Chucky the doll but i also have a fear of bees/wasps/hornets. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I most deplore my laziness. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? The trait I most deplore in others is when someone acts different around others or acts like a different person from behind a phone or computer screen. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? My mother because she obtained her bachelor’s degree in nursing while having 2 children and anyone who knows her can tell you she is the nicest woman. She is someone who I want to be like. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? My greatest extravagance is my shoes. I have over 20 pairs and some are worth money greater than what I paid for them. __7.__What is your current state of mind? My current state of mind in general is being focused. I am zoned in on excelling in school and everything i do. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? I don’t lie very often, I tell it how it is. I will only lie if I feel it is very necessary. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? My acne, especially because i can have a clear face one day and i’ll breakout the next. __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I don’t really despise anyone but if I had to pick, it would be anyone who kills harms or kills animals other than the purpose of food. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? I appreciate when a guy can come to you 1 on 1 to talk about an issue instead of acting out in front of a crowd. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? I like when a woman is straightforward with their intentions and don’t play games. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “Keep it a buck” which means keeping it 100 or keeping it real. __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? Fishing is probably my greatest love, I am very passionate about it and when I’m doing it, all of my problems seem to disappear. __16.__When and where were you happiest? Down the shore with my friends for 2 weeks in wildwood new jersey for our high school senior summer vacation. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? I would love to have the talent that Manny Machado has. He is probably a top 10 player in the MLB right now. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would change my left eye. It’s a bit lazy but it’s not very noticeable other than to me. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? I consider making it through high school and now in college being my greatest achievement. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? If i died i would like to come back as a sloth. They get to eat, sleep, and swing through trees. That right there is the life. __21.__Where would you most like to live? I would most like to live near a body of water so I can fish whenever I pleased. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My most treasured possession is probably my phone just because I can talk to whoever I want whenever I want and that’s valuable to me. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Loss of a loved one is the lowest depth of misery to me. __24.__What is your favorite occupation? My favorite occupation is playing baseball on a breezy day. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? I’m always trying to be the funny guy. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? The thing I value most about my friends is how they’re always there for me no matter what and they are more than brothers to me. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? I’d have to go with Dav Pilkey because he writes Captain Underpants and that’s what got me through elementary school. I’d also like to say J.K. Rowling because even though I didn’t read the Harry Potter books, I love the movies and they wouldn’t have happened without her. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? Jack and Annie from the Magic Treehouse books because they traveled everywhere and i was always wishing I was with them. __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? I would say Benjamin Franklin because I like to think of new inventions or ideas like he did. __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? Anyone who does good deeds, treats people with respect, and is just a good overall human being. __31.__What are your favorite names? I don’t have any favorite names. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? Waking up early. __33.__What is your greatest regret? That I stopped playing baseball from age 10-13. __34.__How would you like to die? In my sleep which would be painless or sacrificing myself which would be meaningful. __35.__What is your motto? “I say what I mean and I mean what I say”. “Live life to the fullest”. |
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